How can we overcome divisions and conflicts in our lives? In our churches? In our families? In our friendships? In our marriages? In our businesses? In the United States? In America? In Humanity?

Do we need deals? Or do we need visions?

Both deals and visions can be useful tools to end conflicts. But at this moment of ingrained conflicts that threaten the survival of the United States and, indeed, of all Humanity, we need unifying visions, rather than clever deals.

I learned this wisdom about 40 years ago when talking with the pastor who married my wife and me. He taught me the strategy for overcoming divisions in marriages and in every avenue of life.

There are negotiating tactics that can reach deals to overcome divisions. This evening, the husband picks what to watch together on Netflix. Tomorrow evening, the wife picks what to watch together on Netflix.

But what is the ultimate strategy to overcome divisions and conflicts?

How do we keep the husband and wife wanting to watch Netflix together instead of alone? They need to share the same vision of their future together—the same goals for their marriage.

The only way to overcome divisions between people is to give them a vision of the future that makes them want to overcome their divisions.

I’m not sure what my pastor and I were discussing that prompted this insight.

Perhaps we were discussing the dangers of nuclear war. Perhaps we were discussing the intractable, never-ending violence in places such as Northern Ireland and the Middle East.

As a lawyer, I expressed my belief that it ought to be possible to negotiate an end to such strife because it is clearly in the best interests of all the stakeholders to get along with each other.

But from his many years of counseling people, my pastor commented that people rarely overcome their differences by rationally considering their mutual self-interests. Whether it is a marriage on the rocks, a disagreement about running the church, or people ending centuries of violence, it takes a vision of how much better the future can be to get people to lay aside their disagreements and hatreds, and to work together.

Now that I am older and wiser, I see better the truth of what my pastor told me. I’m much more familiar with how people become irrational when they feel they have been mistreated.

Furthermore, my pastor’s strategy ties into things I’ve read and seen about managing a business or any other activity. To be successful, there must be a strong, unifying vision to inspire the people involved.

Otherwise, people lose sight of the big picture. They begin doing what is best for themselves, even if it is not best for everyone involved. People begin working at cross-purposes. Misunderstandings and anger grow. Everyone loses.

As the proverb goes: “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18, KJV). It takes a vision!!!

Since our marriage has already lasted more than 43 years, I’d say our pastor’s strategy—his wisdom—for overcoming divisions and conflicts has stood the test of time.

Furthermore, our pastor’s strategy inspired me to write unifying visions in my books Visions of America and Visions of the Church (published in one volume in 2004).

Unfortunately, people’s vision of America often focuses on all the wars we’ve won. The most recent example is boasting about the accuracy and explosive power of the bombs dropped on Iran’s nuclear facilities.

Such boasting reminds me of the divisive visions of Nimrod and Babel.

As I wrote in The Promised Land (first published in 2004, long before Trump ran for President and the rise of MAGA):

How do we build a civilization that curses all people—a civilization that is bad, that is very bad?

War, arrogance and selfishness build such civilizations.

People rely on war to save them when they put their faith in guns instead of putting their faith in God. People become arrogant when they rely on themselves instead of hoping in the LORD. And people become selfishness when they seek their own self interest instead of loving others.

Abraham grew up in a civilization that was shaped by the wars of Nimrod. Instead of hoping in the LORD, Nimrod relied on his skills as a “mighty warrior” to establish an empire across much of the Middle East (Genesis 10:8-12).

In contrast, Abraham did not seek to establish a mighty empire through war. Abraham sought to establish the family of God through faith.

Abraham grew up in a civilization that was shaped by the arrogance and selfishness of Babel. In the beginning, people were unified because “the whole world had one language and a common speech” (Genesis 11:1). Their civilization generated technological advances. People learned how to use “brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar” (Genesis 11:3).

In a burst of optimism, people decided to “build ourselves a city with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the whole earth” (Genesis 11:4).

These people did not need a tower “that reaches to the heavens” in order to overcome a lack of office space in downtown Babel. This tower would have been a “ziggurat” such as those that have been unearthed by archaeologists in ancient cities in Mesopotamia. Babel wanted such a tower as a symbol of civic pride.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to build a city. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be proud of your city. It’s good for people to have “civic pride.”

Such “civic pride” motivated Jerusalem to build Solomon’s Temple, Athens to build the Parthenon, Paris to build Notre Dame, Rome to build the Sistine Chapel, and countless modern cities to build sports arenas. (Notice any decline in “civilization” in modern times?)

But in Babel the virtue of “civic pride” became perverted into the vices of arrogance and selfishness. To show that they were better than anyone else, they boasted that they would build a “tower that reaches to the heavens!” That way even God could see how great they were—true legends in their own minds!

Their arrogance was surpassed only by their selfishness.

They wanted a city for ourselves. Their tower was not a “Statue of Liberty” welcoming the world’s huddled masses to come find a new home. They wanted to make a name for ourselves. Their tower was not a “cross” where they would sacrifice themselves to help others.

The people of Babel did not want to be scattered over the face of the whole earth. They wanted to remain safe on their couches in Babel, admiring their tower.

They shunned the risky life of a Good Samaritan. They were too arrogant to bother going into all the world, being good neighbors to “unimportant” people. They were too selfish to bother going into all the world, being good neighbors to people who hated them.

However, the people of Babel were not as safe on their couches as they presumed. Because God pounces on arrogance as quickly as a cat pounces on a mouse. And because selfishness brings trouble from God as surely as pestering a baby bear brings trouble from a mama bear.

“[T]he LORD came down to see the city and the tower that the men were building” (Genesis 11:5). (Notice that their arrogance was much greater than the height of their tower. Their arrogance reached heaven, but their tower was nowhere close. The LORD had to “come down” to see it!)

God didn’t like what he saw. He realized that: “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they have planned to do will be impossible for them. (Genesis 11:6).

God didn’t wait for the people of Babel to “plan to do” even more arrogant, selfish deeds. He “confuse[d] their language so they [would] not understand each other” (Genesis 11:7). Then the LORD scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city” (Genesis 11:8).

There is a lesson here for all who seek to make “a name for ourselves.”

Such self-centered arrogance inevitably leads to division and failure—whether in a family, a sports team, a business, a church, or an entire civilization. Because those who want to make a name for ”ourselves” naturally tend to treat others in ways that cause jealousy, quarreling, persecution and fighting.

Confusion results. Scattering comes. And whatever tower they wanted to build is “gone with the wind”. Such a fate overtook the Soviet Union for persecuting Christians, the Nazis for exterminating Jews, and the Confederacy for enslaving Africans.

Therefore, when Abraham set off for the Promised Land, he already knew that no enduring civilization can be built on arrogance or selfishness.

The fate of the Tower of Babel taught Abraham the impossibility of building any “tower” by arrogantly challenging the authority of God and by selfishly ignoring the needs of other people.

God’s command to go to the Promised Land—the “tower” where all other people will be blessed—taught Abraham that the family of God is the only “tower” worth building. The family of God is the only “tower” worth establishing as the work of our hands because the family of God is the only “tower” that truly “reaches to the heavens.”

Furthermore, Abraham’s call to be a “great nation” (Genesis 12:2) by “blessing all nations on earth” (Genesis 12:3) shows how God’s way of making a great nation—a good civilization—is totally different from the flawed approaches of Nimrod and Babel, [and from the flawed approaches of Trump and MAGA].

Nimrod “grew to be a great warrior on the earth” (Genesis 10:8). But God did not suggest that military prowess should play any role in helping Abraham become a “great nation”.

In Babel, people worked to make a name for themselves. But Abraham’s faith relied on God’s promise: “I will make your name great” (Genesis 12:2).

[Like Trump and MAGA,] Nimrod and Babel did not understand what makes people and nations “great”.

Greatness does not come from winning wars. And greatness does not come from building the tallest tower.

Greatness comes from having the faith to go to that “Promised Land” where “all peoples on earth will be blessed through you” (Genesis 12:3).

In contrast, what are the unifying visions that bring true greatness to a person or a nation or a civilization.

As I described in the Acknowledgments in The Promised Land (first published in 2004):

A comment by my wife Suzanne after seeing the show at the American Pavilion in Epcot Center in Walt Disney World gave me the essential vision of Visions of America; she felt that we should be proud about something besides all of the wars we’ve won. (The Promised Land, at page 14).

Similarly,

My father gave me the essential vision of Visions of the Church; he felt that the money wasted by building and maintaining so many church buildings that are half-empty (because Christians can’t agree to go to the same church) would be far better spent helping poor people. (The Promised Land, at page 14).

I pull these ideas together in my vision of the ideal America that was first discovered by the hearts and wisdom of Abraham, Moses and Jesus:

—bless ALL people (Abraham; Genesis 12:3);

—challenge ALL pharaohs to set ALL people free (Moses; Exodus 8:1); and

—heal ALL hurting people (Jesus; Luke 10:25-37).

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

Do you believe military prowess should play any role in helping to make a nation great? Why? Why not?

Do you believe that greatness comes from winning wars? Why? Why not?

Do you believe that greatness comes from building the tallest “tower”? Why? Why not?

Do you believe that greatness comes from blessing all people? Why? Why not? How? How not?

Do you believe that greatness comes from challenging pharaohs to set people free? Why? Why not? How? How not?

Do you believe that greatness comes from healing all hurting people? Why? Why not? How? How not?

READ MORE

For related ideas, please read my blog “St. Francis of Assisi Made the Way of Jesus Great Again” and “How Do We Build a Civilization That Is Good—That Is Very Good?”